It’s in our nature to care about what other people think. We live in a state of pure fear over the thoughts and opinions of others. It’s sad, but our daily actions are often motivated by gaining the approval of others. There’s an obsession with making sure we don’t disappoint those around us, and this is most usually in exchange for our own happiness. Why is it so easy to make others happy, but when it comes to ourselves we have literally no clue how to. I ask myself that almost every moment of everyday. I just don’t understand. I bend over backwards to make everyone else happy. Why is it that no one seems to care how I feel? Think about all that you do for everyone else, and then think about what you do for yourself. How much time do you spend caring about other people’s needs before you pay mind to your own?
I mean don’t get me wrong, of course, helping others is admirable. It’s a beautiful thing to see people caring for one another and putting the needs of others before their own. What happens when you become so compelled to please everyone else that you dismiss your own happiness? What happens when you witness your life becoming a composite of the favors and demands of others?
There will come a point in your life (and hopefully, that point is right now) when it’s smart that you learn how to stick up for yourself and learn that its okay be selfish for the well-being of yourself. As you become more of an adult with more to lose and less time to spend on this Earth, you must become stronger and more confident in expressing how you feel. You must learn to stick up for yourself to make sure that you are not being taken advantage of. However, I know as well as anyone that it’s difficult to be mean/rude to others on matters they don’t wish to hear. The pain of letting someone down, disappointing them, just doesn’t seem worth the freedom that comes with saying, “No.” We are empathetic and compassionate beings, who understand what it feels like to be let down, or even rejected, and we don’t like to bring sorrow onto others anymore than we do onto ourselves.
Of course, being selfish is not always good. I’m not saying that you completely disregard the needs of others and only take care of yourself. It’s pure selfishness that leads to the loss of friends and betrayal of family, but you must find a middle ground. You must always know when it’s okay to be selfish and when it’s okay to take care of yourself first.
The first step in doing this is so understanding the motives of everyone and what they are asking of you. You are too young to be making sacrifices and compromises, before your future has even had a chance to play out.
Don’t let others take advantage of your selfless nature and kind heart. While your friends and family may not be consciously taking advantage of your warm and giving traits, it’s human nature to worry about yourself before others, and they may not very well realize what they are doing.
You must learn to recognize when people need your help and when they simply want it. Four things to remember..
- People Won’t Remember
- People Get Over It
- Your Needs Come First
- You Know What’s Best For You
You got this guys/gals!! Love you all. Goodnight!