The struggle is real.

Just a head ups guys, I’m about to get deep with you all so please just bear with me. okay?

What to you is self-love? The dictionary states self love as regard ones well-being/happiness. I’m like 99.99 % sure that’s my biggest flaw right there with having self love for myself. Why do you ask? Well sit back and relax and I’ll tell you. Mine may be different from yours, hell you might not have any self loving problems. kudos to you if you don’t. Let’s begin.

  1. Its’ very hard for me to forgive myself. One time not to long ago I got to drunk and cried in front of the man I started to fall in love with. I was open and honest and I felt like I made a fool out of myself(which I probably did) but that’s me. I cried and I apologize for that still to this day because I hate HATE showing my emotions. I feel the need to be strong all the time. if I eat something bad like a burger I hate myself for days and I don’t forgive myself. why? because I need better will power but it’s okay to have a cheat day at times. I just need to breath and just know I’m not perfect.
  2. Two weeks ago my therapist Tammy asked if I had self boundaries. I literally could not think of ONE. That’s HORRIBLE. So that weekend I laid in Devin’s bed while he sat on the couch and I made myself some boundaries. Took me awhile for sure but I did it. I even got cuddle after so that was a plus!
  3. I don’t protect myself as much as I should. I try to be friends or please everyone literally everyone when I shouldn’t even try. Some people come into your life and when you have pain or you hurt it could bring them pure joy. Sucks because I can’t determined that in people, I think everyone is nice and sweet like me turns out that’s never the case. Sucks but I’m learning to not care anymore, either you like me or you don’t. 🙂
  4. I bring myself down CONSTATLY!! If I don’t have a flat tummy I tell myself I’m not skinny or I’m not pretty. No matter how many people call me beautiful or pretty or skinny I still think less of myself. My family calls me beautiful all the time but family is supposed to so to me they don’t count. So yeah, if I’m “so pretty or so skinny”, why can’t I feel that way? Who the hell knows? haha

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.  Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight..” 1 Peter 3:3-4

So those are my self-love struggles. They will get better within time, just wait and see. Have a great night guys and gals. Tomorrow I’ll announce my first give away so get ready! 🙂 Love you all thank you. BBBBBBYYYYYEEEE!!

 

**BBBRRRPPP*BBBRRRPPP**

 

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