Today was a better day. I did some cleaning out my phone today, it made a weight lift off my shoulders. I deleted every picture I had of Jason off my phone and off my icloud. Its time for me to move on and be happy, I wasn’t going to be able to ever really do that with him being a constant reminder in my phone. Anyway today I will be writing Day 25, 26, and 27.
Day 25– What things am I really good at? All I can really think of is baking. I love baking, I can bake all day if I could. when I can’t sleep at night sometimes ill start baking. cupcakes, cakes, cookies and pie. I may not ever eat any of the stuff I bake but it sure does make my house smell good and other people’s belly feel good.
Day 26– What parts of yourself are you ashamed of and why? What does your shadow look like? I’m ashamed of my stomach. why? I used to be bigger, after my eating disorder I lost so much weight so now I have stretch marks. I also gained some weight after treatment and stuff so I still feel ugly being chunky. It’s very hard for me to be happy with my belly. Also my shadow would look like a sad, lonely, fat girl. She thinks she is not beautiful enough, skinny enough, smart enough and will never ever be enough for anyone. She thinks she will never find anyone to love her again.
Day 27– Whats one choice you can make right now that your future self-will thank you for? Oh boy this is a hard one but not really hard either. I need to stop worrying and thinking about what this one person is doing and just let him be. He doesn’t care about you, he isn’t thinking about you anymore, he isn’t alone in bed, he doesn’t love you anymore, Ellena. DEAL WITH IT, ELLENA!
Well goodnight guys and gals. Have a goodnight and sweet dreams. BBBYYYEEEE!!