4 YEARS GONE IN 4 MINUTES

April 24, 2012. I remember this day like it was yesterday. I got off at 5:00 pm and we had a date scheduled for 7. I was so nervous due to the fact I’ve had a crush on you for almost 2 years. I had a friend come over to do my makeup and I did my hair. We went to the movies, you feel asleep; wish I would’ve known that was going to be you EVERYTIME we saw a movie. You then walked me back to my apartment and you asked me to be your girlfriend. We have been on maybe 5 dates before then so that made me feel good to say yes. I then 6 months later moved in with you and we began to figure out a life with 2 people and a dog. We had our fights since we both are hard headed and like things different ways but we made it work. I began to figure out how to be a farmer’s girlfriend and you were figuring out how to be a boyfriend In general since I worked in town. We finally moved closer to town and it was great we lost all the land but we gained a dollar store right next door haha. A lot of bull happened you made me change and lose lots of friends and family, you let your demons control you and I was no longer enough to keep you happy. I loved you to the moon and back. I still love you, I am so glad to have been able to love you. I will always be there for you and pray for you and wish you all the best.

 

 

I know I need to let you go, Jason. I won’t ever be fully happy with myself or with someone new if I don’t. I need to be happy, I need to stop living in the past and wondering if you’re okay. I need to stop wondering what I did wrong and just realize I didn’t do anything, we just outgrew one another. I wanted a family and to get married (you did ask and we were going to start planning). I am sorry for never being enough and I’m sorry you had to hit rock bottom alone.in the famous words or Lauv “’Cause they say if you love her let her go, and they say if it’s meant to be you’ll know.”    So I’m letting go… 

 

 

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